Frasier Crane & Friends
So I’ve started watching the American sitcom show “Frasier” once again. I go through spurts of rewatching whole series of shows. “Cheers” “Frasier” “Friends” and now “Parks and Rec” I use them in three ways. One for comfort when I’m feeling down and can’t seem to get out of bed. Two for background noise when I’m mindlessly browsing the internet. Three as soothing, comforting banter when trying to fall asleep.
There’s a change this time, though. I’m not enjoying the show like I have the previous 5 times I’ve been through the familiar stories. Yes it’s true I could just be bored by the overplaying of each episode, but these are my friends. I’m invested in their lives. I’d love to have dinner with Martin Crane, Daphne Moon and the brothers Crane.
The worry here, of course, is that this is just another step in “losing interest in things that used to be important to me.” I have precious few things that hold my interest for fleeting minutes already. Is boring Jp becoming more boring?
Nora is out of town this week. I’m off today and tomorrow with no responsibilities of much concern. (Pay a few bills and feed the kids and dogs). I came and got some delicious bagel sandwiches this morning. Now they’re eaten and I stuck with the rest of the day. Essentially 12 hours of time I could spend anyway I want, with 12 more coming tomorrow.
I can’t think of s single thing that I would enjoy doing. Forget “enjoying,” I can’t think of a single thing that won’t bore me to death. I know there is a line of thought that I should just put my head down and go with something, give it long enough to find out if I like it. When I try to do that I find myself feeling guilty. Guilty that I should be doing something productive for the family, or society.
I keep kicking around the idea of volunteering in some capacity, but where do I start with that? I donate blood. That’s good for an hour or two every 56 days. But what else can I do? What SHOULD I be doing?
Even writing this post I'm starting to feel like I’m not using my time very well.
Gah! I’m fearful of what it is I sound like. LIke some bored middle class American who can’t get past themselves to enjoy the life they have. Is that me? Am I just in some existential crisis of life. A mid-life crisis? It doesn’t feel like that, but I feel certain it sounds like that.
Maybe I’ll just put the dogs outside, take some trazodone and sleep the day away.